


progression

by blazeofglory



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin's POV, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship progresses slowly and secretly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	progression

When Anakin is 17, he’s suddenly tall and pimply, and for the first time, he is tempted to break the Code. He’s never seen the appeal of breaking his vows before—especially not for something like _sex._ But after saber practice one night, he impulsively tries to kiss Obi-Wan, who is sweaty and toned and surprisingly tan, and Anakin can’t look away—and he is politely rebuked. He’s told that, “attachment and desire are not the Jedi way, and—Anakin, you’re much too young.” He nods, embarrassed into silence, by both his actions and Obi-Wan’s rejection, and goes to his room alone to lick his wounds.

As the years pass, sex starts to sound pretty good. Surely, not _everyone_ is lying about enjoying it.

He tries with Obi-Wan again when he’s 19. This time, it’s early in the morning and his master is smiling at him over breakfast, and Anakin just has to lean in and… He pauses, giving Obi-Wan time to back away if he wants. Obi-Wan looks flushed when he predictably shifts away, a hesitant “no” on his lips. It doesn’t feel like as much of a rejection as the last time; they go right back to eating and Obi-Wan’s smile only falters for a split second.

When Anakin is 20, he goes out with Obi-Wan one night, and they both drink a little too much. He kisses Obi-Wan, confident and sloppy, and for the first time, Obi-Wan lets him. His master’s lips are soft and his hands feel like heaven on his face and Anakin can’t get _enough_ , but then Obi-Wan is pulling away with a rueful smile.

“You’re still my padawan,” he says, eyes bright with drink but voice as firm as ever. “We can’t. Not yet.”

It’s only the promise that someday soon, they _can_ that keeps Anakin from protesting. He steals one last, chaste kiss before they part ways for bed. Obi-Wan doesn’t bother to hide his smile when he says goodnight. Their Force bond sings with their attraction and affection. 

Kissing is pretty good, Anakin decides. Better than he remembers—though he isn’t sure those memories count. He was so young…

Anakin turns 21. The night he’s Knighted, he finds his way to Obi-Wan’s bedroom and is met with open arms. For once, he isn’t turned away.

Obi-Wan’s embrace is warm, and kissing him feels like coming home, like the warm heat of two suns and the breathless exhilaration of speeding through space and the comfortable familiarity of swinging a lightsaber. They move together, soft and unhurried, and Anakin thinks he might finally be learning what all the fuss is about. Laying with Obi-Wan in his bed, Anakin’s whole world is narrowed down to the soft sheets beneath him, the smell of Obi-Wan’s shampoo, the minty taste of Obi-Wan’s mouth, and the feeling of Obi-Wan’s lips on his and his broad hands, comforting and strong, on Anakin’s hips. Their bodies are pressed together from lips to toes; Anakin has never felt so warm and content in his life.

It’s never been like this before.

All they do is kiss. After a few long, beautiful hours, they fall asleep, arms wrapped around each other. It’s the best day of Anakin’s life.

Their relationship progresses slowly and secretly. It’s hard to hide in the Jedi temple, when the echoes of their love are found in the Force; they can only really be together when they’re away. The Clone Wars get them away from the prying eyes of their fellow Jedi and the judging look on Mace Windu’s face, but they hardly ever have a moment alone together.  

When they kiss now, there is always a lingering taste of blood and dirt—their touches grow frantic with the knowledge that death is around every corner. And yet, they take it slow. Anakin _yearns_ for more, even as the idea sets every last one of his nerves on edge.

“I want you to fuck me,” he confesses one night, his voice barely above a whisper as they lay together in a too-small bed, their tent only a foot away from the clones. They’ve been kissing for hours, and Anakin has a few marks on his neck to show for it, but he’s so hard, he thinks he just might die. His worries have been pushed to the back of his mind.

Obi-Wan pulls back an inch, surprise on his face. His usually perfect hair is a mess from Anakin’s hands, and he looks so unbelievably gorgeous. “Really?”

Anakin only hesitates for a moment, but it’s enough for Obi-Wan to shake his head and say, “Not yet, dear one. Another time.”

Before Anakin can open his mouth to complain, Obi-Wan’s hand is down his pants, and all he can do is moan.

A year passes.

They’re back on Coruscant now, and Obi-Wan finds them a hotel room as far away from the temple as possible. Anakin is naked on the bed, breathless and hard, and Obi-Wan is on top of him, still clothed in his pants, but Anakin wants him naked _immediately._

He surprises himself just like the first time when he says, “Obi-Wan, I—I want you in me.”

Obi-Wan freezes, and he picks his head up from where he’d been kissing down Anakin’s stomach, so he can look at him properly. A grin breaks out over his face. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure.” Not entirely true, but he’s sure enough. Anakin wraps his legs around Obi-Wan’s waist, pulling him back down and leaving them both laughing. _Yes_ , he thinks, _I can do this_.

“Have you done this before?” Obi-Wan asks curiously. 

Anakin hesitates before answering, “Yeah. But not in a long time.”

Something about Anakin’s tone must be _off_ , because Obi-Wan gently pulls away from his embrace, trying and failing to not to let his concern show. Anakin is acutely aware of how much he’s made it seem like he’s never had anyone but Obi-Wan touch him before. His voice is carefully measured when he asks, “How long is a long time, Anakin?”

“Like…” Anakin sighs and looks away from Obi-Wan’s worried face, mentally counting. _Why_ did Obi-Wan have to ask? “Uh, thirteen years.”

Obi-Wan swears under his breath, anger welling up inside him that Anakin can feel spreading into their Force bond, no matter how much Obi-Wan tries to contain it.

Anakin is barely 22. 

“It was a long time ago, like I said.” Anakin turns his face back towards Obi-Wan, hands on his back to try to tug him back down so they can forget all about this, but Obi-Wan only pulls away further, sitting up and shifting away. Anakin sighs again, trying to push down the familiar feelings of shame and anger—it’s almost easy at this point. “It happened to all the slaves, Obi-Wan. I dealt with it.”

Obi-Wan shifts closer again, pulling Anakin into a gentle embrace. He kisses him again, slow and soft; gentle. Anakin is still hard, and he knows Obi-Wan can feel it, but he’s sure the mood has been ruined.

 _I love you so much_ , Obi-Wan thinks loudly at him, but doesn’t say. Anakin hears it anyway.

“I’ve survived this long,” Anakin points out, trying to lighten the mood. He hasn’t really thought about his past in a long time—not consciously, at least. When he’d first become a padawan, he had expected much of the same treatment from the Jedi. For months, he’d been surprised every day that he wasn’t touched. Those were old fears now though; long buried, yet apparently not forgotten. “Obi-Wan, I just… I want you to touch me and make it good.”

“Anakin—”

Anakin shifts back so he can look Obi-Wan in the face as he grabs his hands, holding them tight. His blue eyes are blazing, defiant. “I want you to make love to me. I’ve never done that before.”

After a long moment, Obi-Wan nods. They kiss again, still so softly, but the heat begins to build again.

Anakin knows that Obi-Wan wishes he could find the words to make everything alright, and a part of him wishes that too, but there will be time to talk later. Obi-Wan presses a kiss to his neck, his beard scratching his sensitive skin, and Anakin feels goosebumps rising on his arms. In a low voice, Obi-Wan swears, “I _will_ make this good for you, Anakin. I promise.”

And then, a second later—“I never want you to hurt again.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a pain my ass, so shoutout to all my friends for helping me! Thank you! Now we gotta get started on the OBIKIN BIG BANG! Whoo!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think about this!!


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